Filter by cause of departure:All CausesHookNetOld AgeGrocery AisleUnclearCat
Featured ProfilesSorted by: Most Recently Expired
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β Offline
Gerald2 yrs
π Lake Minnetonka (surface)
"Still waters run deep. So do I. Permanently."
belly-uphook victimloves: nothing
π
β Offline
Sandra3 yrs
π Atlantic Ocean, drifting NW
"Looking for someone to drift with. I go wherever
the current takes me."
net survivorbriefly wriggled
π‘
β Very Offline
Kenneth7 yrs
π Aisle 4, Whole Foods
"My friends say I'm bubbly. Former friends. I had
friends."
well-preservedon ice$12.99/lb
π¦
β Very Offline
Big Mike23 yrs
π Beachfront, Massachusetts
"Misunderstood. The media did me dirty. Into long
swims and dramatic music."
complicatedapex (former)
π
β Offline
Linda1 yr
π Your cat's bowl, 2023
"Vibrant, full of life. Past tense. Seeking someone
who won't flush."
indoor fishtoilet burial
π
β Online Now
Tiffany2 yrs
π Coral reef, somewhere warm
"Photo is recent. Recent-ish. Recent in geological
terms. I looked exactly like this right up until I
didn't."
online now??vibrant colorsplausible deniability
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β Very Offline
Dave5 yrs
π Unknown (open water)
"Went with the flow. Too much flow, it turns out."
cause: unclearno regrets
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β Very Offline
Terrence4 yrs
π Mediterranean, miscellaneous
"I contain multitudes. Eight of them. Had eight.
Fewer now."
complicated anatomynet
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β Offline
Donna8 yrs
π Mississippi River, middle part
"My profile pic is from a better time. A MUCH better
time. Let's just say I've been through some things
and leave it at that."
vintage photoriver galbeen through it
π
β Offline
Cheryl6 yrs
π Freezer aisle, Target
"I'm not like other fish. I'm in a box now. With
lemon zest. Still, open to connections."
breadedready in 12 min
π
β Very Offline
NemoN/A
π Classified
"Long story. Complicated family. Would rather not
discuss the dental office."
no commenttrauma
How It Works(It doesn't, but here's the theory)
π£
Create a Profile
Upload a recent photo. Recency is relative here.
Anything within the last few tidal cycles is
acceptable. Be honest about your cause of departure.
π
Browse Matches
Our proprietary algorithm pairs you by expiration
method, final resting depth, and whether you were
sustainably sourced. Brine-compatible matches
prioritized.
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Start a conversation. We cannot promise a reply. We
cannot promise anything, really. But statistically
speaking, this is going fine.
Success StoriesLoosely defined
"
I met Gerald three weeks ago. He was at the surface. I
was at the surface. It felt like fate. He hasn't moved
since, which honestly works for me.
π
Brenda, Lake Erie
Together 3 weeks Β· Still floating
"
Finally a dating app that doesn't judge me for being a
little stiff. Or for not texting back. Or for just
floating there. Most understood I've felt in years.
π‘
Kenneth, Whole Foods
14 matches Β· On ice
"
My wife said I should try it. My wife is also a dead
fish so that tracks. Five stars. Would decompose again.
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Dave, Open Water
Married Β· Location: somewhere
"
I joined as a joke. Now I have 847 matches, all
unresponsive, and this is still going better than my
last relationship. Premium was worth it.
π€
Greg, Human User
Premium member Β· No further comment
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